Coaching Myself Coaching
Well, since I need to film some videos for the website, perhaps I should just create the scripts here and toss in some examples of me talking to me. After all, someone’s gotta be the poster child for life coaching, right? 🙂
Welcome, What Is Whole Life Coaching?
Having a Life Coach means you have a guide. A facilitator. Someone who will ask you the questions that open up great responses. Responses that open up possibilities and get you to your goals.
Having a Life Coach means you will learn how to listen to yourself better. To clearly articulate your dreams and see possibilities. To envision your personal freedom. To understand your self-limitations and break through towards a transformation.
How? Great question. You already have this inside you. A Life Coach helps you to unlock the box that it’s hiding in. People get tunnel vision. They stare at problems so long they can’t see possible solutions anymore. People get scared and can’t envision actually moving toward their dreams. Their goals. A Life Coach helps you to break through those barriers. Supports you. Encourages you.
Many people turn towards friends and family, and don’t get me wrong, communication is a great thing. An incredible thing. But there is also the danger of bias. Your family and friends know you. May even have a vested interest in your choices. At the very least, they have their pre-decided opinions on where you should be going. A Life Coach is unbiased. Non-judging. I am not here to decide what’s best for you. I’m here to help you find what’s best for yourself. I have no horse in the race, just a desire to see you succeed in whatever choice you make.
Whole Life Coaching is a term I use to describe how I believe that nothing works in a vacuum. Say you’re struggling with a job choice. That’s a great goal to dig into. But how does it affect your other choices with relationships, passions, or your own happiness? Everything is connected eventually inside you. There is a person that you can envision, who is made up of multiple sides, that must be let out. Only by looking at how the parts make the whole will you find them.
So you want a great relationship? A better one with the person who currently shares your life. Or you’re looking for that special someone. Who are you looking for? You actually can’t answer that clearly without first describing and understanding who is doing the looking.
You need to understand … really understand … who “Relationship You” really is. What brought you to this place? What does the “you” in a great relationship look like. What needs to be learned, and unlearned?
Life Coaching is all about communications skills. Seeing patterns and deciding if they are what you want to keep repeating, or not. Truly understanding what brought you to this place and time, and helping you to visualize the relationship you want and deserve.
You already know how to be a better partner. Be it in a romantic relationship, or as a father, brother, sister, or friend. Are you bringing your true self to others? The answers already lie within. You just need to look for them. Which can prove elusive, otherwise you wouldn’t be looking for them now. But with an unbiased and non-judging person asking you the probing questions, you will see the patterns and choices you have already ingrained inside you. And then make the decisions to keep or replace them. You have the perfect “Relationship You” waiting to come out.
“I have struggled with relationships all my life. Romantic ones. My family. And I seem to keep re-living the same patterns, like it was Groundhog Day. I want to understand why I have made those choices, and I want to envision how I can be a happier partner.”
So … job change? (Involuntary, or by choice). A possible location move? Relationship, family support, hobby, or passion decision? Life is change, otherwise we would have no opportunity for growth. And the opposite of growth is stagnation. And choices are hard, they’re supposed to be. Things change with choices.
How do you balance and make a decision? A pro and con list? Ask a semi-trusted friend to decide for you? Maybe, but I would suggest that there are better ways. Choices are rarely limited by themselves. Every other life choice is entangled with this one. So you need to look at the whole. Ask the questions that shine a light on your options and the paths ahead.
What questions, you ask? Great question in itself. That’s what Whole Life Coaching does … ask those probing questions. Exactly the opposite of giving you the answers. If the choice was a “no brainer”, you would have made it already. And you wouldn’t be reading this. But you already understand that your life choices are being elusive. That you need someone to help you see the roads that are clouded by your fears and your tunnel vision. You need a Whole Life Coach.
“I am unsatisfied with my job. Sure, I like it, but it’s not what I want to do. But it’s what I’m used to. It pays the bills. I would really like to be something else, but I’m not sure how. And honestly, I’m afraid to even explore the idea.”
There is only one of you. There are billions of others. So why does there have to be one “perfect existence” that everyone must strive for? One pinnacle that defines a human being. Well, there isn’t just one. There are billions. Each one as unique as you.
Most of us struggle with meeting society’s expectations of us. What our family and friends want us to be. The guilt of not being everything to everybody. Never having enough time for others, let alone ourselves. The problem isn’t time. It’s the impossible goal of “Being Perfect”.
You can’t do it. Can’t be it. Sorry, but that’s truth. At least you can’t be someone else’s vision of perfect. Your own? Sure, in a way. Perfection is a goal that you can never reach, and that’s a grand thing! It’s not a “prize” to be won. A crown to wear, or a certificate of completion to proudly hang on a wall. There is an ever-changing version of yourself, who only you can define. She (or he) is in a constant state of evolution. Of seeking happiness.
Whole Life Coaching is helping you to see that person. For yourself. Through your own eyes, not what others expect from you. By having an unbiased and non-judging facilitator asking you probing questions, the person you want to be will become more visible. And the roads that lead to them more clear.
Life is an ever-changing journey. Our perfect selves are always in flux. Happiness is always our first goal. There is a positive life before you, you just need to brush aside the cobwebs and obstacles that are barring you. So, how can we get started?
“I have always led my life the way my family expects. The way society expects. But it’s not who I am. It’s not following the way I feel. But the guilt of standing up for myself, when it might mean others will have to adapt to my choices, is overpowering. How do I let the real me out?”
Thank You, Let’s Get Started
Once you sign up through Patreon, I will be contacting you very quickly to set up schedules. In the meantime, I have two requests of you:
(1) Read the “Contract” between us. (It’s not really a contract, by the way, it’s an agreement on what each of us is going to bring to this endeavor). The page is at http://rickhiggins.com/whole-life-coaching/our-contract.
(2) Take a single sheet of paper. On one side, describe who you are (in bullet points). Detailed, but not elaborate. Saying “I’m tall” isn’t helpful. Saying “I am someone who has always been able to reach high shelves” is more on point. What are your strengths? Weaknesses? Fears and successes? Who are YOU?
Now flip the paper over and rewrite that list. Only with who you see yourself being. Are the things you jotted down still worth pursuing? Are there new goals? Changes to be decided on and made?
Oh, and I hope you used a pencil, because nothing on those lists are permanent. They’re going to be changing. Welcome to Whole Life Coaching.