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I almost stopped being a YouTuber.  As much as I love it, as much as I want to be a full-time Content Creator, I was moments away from throwing it all in the trash.  Why?  Because I was being my own worst enemy.  I was doing a bad thing that kept escalating and escalating, and my solutions were only heading the problems further off into the wrong direction.

On my last video over on the main channel I filmed everything twice … with a lot of cursing, tears, and frustration … only to flush both.  I stewed for days after, not sure if I wanted to just quit … or find a way to get through it.  I chose the latter and went in the exact opposite direction from my previous “fixes”.  And I had a great filming day!

I’m doing the same thing with this video (obviously I’m writing this description before filming.  LOL!) so hopefully it will be a joy as well.  The bottom line is keep trying, and don’t be afraid to look in the “wrong” directions for the right solution.


I see this as being semi-Casey.  Sitting down in front of the studio chair on the floor and saying something like:

I made a rookie mistake.  Even after over two hundred videos.  And it almost cost me my channel.

Then reach out and out a little, stay on the floor.  Continue to introduce myself and set what I mean:

Hi, I’m Rick Higgins and I’m a struggling YouTuber.

When I say cost me my channel, I don’t mean by pissing off YouTube.  I mean doing a bad thing so much that I was inches from walking away from this thing I love.  Because I thought fixing it meant moving in the wrong direction.

At this point, I think I’d like to rise up onto the chair and raise the camera height to match.  Might need to practice this.  And basically, this next part is just me being intimate with the viewer.  Stating the problem.

Tell them that I’ve come to hate filming.  Actually, not hate, but dread.  Putting it off.  And when I do, coming off after a dozen takes as stiff as a board.  Here, let me show you.

And then (change clothes!) show what I do when I’m filming poorly.  Several mumbled takes, reading the script over and over and not getting it right.

The plop down at the desk.

Tell them the problem is … over-scripting.  Over producing.  How I started with bullet points and read throughs, but eventually started writing full blown Hollywood scripts, complete with blocking, lighting, everything.

Scroll through a script, and yes I get the irony of this one.

Tell them that my issue was trying to be an entire film crew for a YouTube channel.  And I cant do it.  I can’t be myself and follow every script exactly as written.

Tell them why.  I’m a spreadsheet junkie and I hate repeating words.

Raise a finger as in “one sec” and get up.

Next is me sitting back down on the chair with the camera tripod in front of me, fiddling with hooking up the mic.

Here’s the thing, you may be able to do a “script”.  I can’t .. and still get everything else right.  And I learned to cringe every time filming day rolled around.  

So my last video (link above), I de-evolved the script into mostly bullet points and it came out great.  At least as far as my presence, I’m still a perfectionist.  LOL!  Same hopefully with this video.

My advice, small YouTuber?  Write the full script, including every word describing how you see the video.  Every aspect.  And once you have the vision … rewrite it into talking points and burn the original.  people want to see us, not us as actors.  If we flub, we flub.  

I’m learning … re-learning … how much I enjoy talking to a camera.  I almost walked away from YouTube because I dreaded filming so much.  But I think I might have found my way back.  I hope your journey finds it’s own answers as well.

See ya soon.

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