I just realized that I’ve been talking endlessly about ending my current career, starting to travel, and even shared some of my fears and hopes. But I never really shared the dream. And when I ponder that, I realize that I’m already off the starting blocks … and I honestly have no concrete idea where I’m running to. Huh, that seems silly in retrospect. Perhaps I should try to flesh this out somewhat, ya think?
The vague end goal has been to be a full-time content creator. A “YouTuber”. With enough diverse and passive income streams to keep me from going hungry for many a decade to come. And if I fail to make it, with a couple of years worth of stories to cling to in my aging years. But what does that look like? (The former, that is. I can easily imagine the latter. And … yuck).
For me that means wandering. Never really having permanent roots. And finding stories. I once heard Casey Neistat say that his goal was to find a story within each and every day. Something unique and interesting. And that’s how I envision my life as well. Every day creating something. A video perhaps. Or a blog post. Something, anything. But regardless, I envision finding a story. A tale of interest to myself and others that can be shared and enjoyed. I don’t see this as a job either. Not with preset times or work days. Maybe the story is found at 3:17pm on a Thursday. Maybe at midnight next Saturday. Life is the story, and the story is the life. They are one and the same, and that’s how I will choose to live. Wandering in search of them.
I know that money will become a factor, and I suppose I’ll have to devote quite a bit of time and energy to “running the business”. Finding sponsors and income streams. But that’s just a necessary evil.
My true goal isn’t by the numbers. I have no idea how many subscribers, or how much watch time I’ll need. It all depends on the quality of the views, and frankly … I don’t really care. I want to be big enough that the enterprise is self-sustaining. I have no desire to become an “influencer”. This isn’t about me. And honestly, it isn’t about the audience either. I don’t want to be the next big thing. I just want to find and tell stories. Why? Skip to the next paragraph.
As a kid, I always had an extremely active imagination. In high school, I was in the drama club. I had no idea how, but I knew I was creative. I loved turning things over and over and finding the gems inside. Even if I had to make up some of the parts. When I daydreamed, I’d rehearse the lines over and over, because finding the right presentation was a beautiful thing. And then I got married, pursued a career, had kids, and lost my soul. My creative soul, that is. For the past I don’t know how many decades, I have ignored my creative side. For the good of everyone else around me. And I miss it. I simply cannot see myself living out my days on my current path. Any risk is acceptable if the outcome is rediscovering my creativity. So that’s what I’m seeking. A way to be that guy again, and still feed and clothe myself. If I can do that … the journey will be worth it.
So that’s the goal. The end game. My nirvana (not the band, that would have been capitalized). I simply want to spend my last third creating things out of other things. And out of nothing. I want to share with everyone who wants to see. And I want to be surrounded with like-minded individuals. People with their own dreams. And no matter what … that’s where my new path will next take me.