21 Days Towards Life Mastery
Self-Development For 50+ Folks
What happens when life changes? When relationships, partnerships, health, passions, direction, and sex all seem distant and different?
What’s a Second Halfer to do?
Well, it’s actually pretty simple, just adjust. Your mindset and your motivation. But first, you need to understand how you work. How we all work. Humans, that is. 21 Days Towards Life Mastery is just that, twenty-one separate lessons that build upon each other to give you the new foundation on which to rebuild yourself.
What’s In The Book, You Ask?
According to science, once we hit the age of fifty, we only have about 28.5 years of life left in us. Before … well, you know. So, what should we do with this precious time? Our lives are changing, and the old ways just don’t quite seem to fit anymore.
What we need to do then is to learn, and to adapt, to our ever-changing environments. And that is exactly what this course is all about.
My name is Rick Higgins and I’m going to be your guide for the next 21 days. And today, on Day One, we’re going to set expectations. We’re going to establish the playing field and get everything ready for our journey.
Are you ready?
Day One is all about setting expectations for the course. Creating baselines of understanding. Everyone has to start somewhere, right? And on this day we give you the big picture, as well as the language you will need to expand yourself.
Each day builds upon the previous day. Some are specific to an issue. Some are general as far as how humans work. But they each take you one step closer to a larger understanding of yourself, and how to achieve what you desire.
Oh, and you get your first homework assignment as well. And yes, you will have daily homework. 😊
Welcome back to Day Two of your journey towards life mastery. Yesterday we discussed some basics, and took a big step into understanding who you are. Where you are at this very moment. And … we need to add a huge caveat right here. A giant asterisk, before we go any further.
What you wrote down? That was you yesterday. Hours have probably passed since you did your homework. (You did do your homework, right?).
In those hours in-between, forces outside yourself have caused you to make minor changes in your current situation. It’s normal. It’s something that happens a few hundred times per day to each of us. So please keep in mind that everything we’re doing is fluid. From where you are, …
This day is about mindsets, and how we use the past to define our present (and our futures). In this chapter, we start looking at real world examples of how we can break the chain of previous failures defining what we think we can do now.
Welcome to Day Three! In a quick, quick recap … we have taken steps to help you figure out where you are now, and we have started to look into the future where you might want to be. And today, we’re going to chat about some obstacles that might lay in your way. And to be very specific … I’m talking about you.
Do you remember back in your school days when you walked into the classroom and saw the film projector set up? “FILM DAY!” you exclaimed. The lights were going to go off, and you weren’t going to be taking a pop quiz. Life was good! Well, today is film day. And although I can’t guarantee no quiz after, let’s dim the lights and play “On BELIEVING IN YOURSELF and Taming The Imposter Within”. A video I released on the channel in December of 2020. It speaks to this.
Yes, in the video you will see another video. And in the book there is a transcript. But there is also quite a bit more information available about how fear limits us. Fear of ourselves, and of others.
Welcome to Day Four! And today we’re going to veer a little away from you for a bit, in order to explain how humans work. Or to be very specific, how human self-awareness is an ever-progressing work in progress. This will prove important when we get back to working on your journey. Because your paths are going to align with these concepts.
Now before we get deeply into this, please know that this isn’t a race. Nor is it really a “you must achieve level seven or else” type of thing. You are you. Choosing to stay where you are, or to try for a higher level, is completely up to you. And it’s OK. We are all in charge of where we want to be. And it’s not a contest.
But having said that, it is important to know what the seven levels are. To understand the basic human condition. And I suppose the best place to start is at the base of the ladder.
This is an interesting day, because we get to see how humans can advance through various levels of self. Starting at the bottom with ‘victim’ and moving up through the ladder. However, these are not labels. They are characteristics of personality and will help you understand how small changes can develop into bigger movements.
Hi, welcome to Day Five! So far we’ve explored you. Where you are now, where you might want to go. We’ve even peeked at how people move and grow through life. Today we’re going to look at … holes.
But first, it’s film day again. In December of 2020 I filmed a video titled “On SETTING GOALS For A More Fulfilling Life”. Let’s run that to set some basics on goal setting.
Goals are one of the three basic building blocks in Life Coaching. Where you are now, where you want to be, and how you might get from A to B. Today we talk about B at a high level. Many of us already have goals inside us, some only have vague ideas. But there is a process to defining where we see ourselves.
Welcome to Day Six! Today we’re going to take a deeper dive into how we look at reality and perception. How we see the past and the future. Why? Because as we continue your journey into that future, you need to understand how you’re actually seeing it, and through which lens.
In Hollywood movies, one can hop into a Time Travel Machine and either go back to ‘the before’, or forward into the future. And while it’s never a major part of the storyline, there is also always ‘the present’. The place where you started up the time machine, and hopefully came back to. And yea, it usually takes them a few times to return to the right place.
It’s actually true that you can travel in time. Well, emotionally and mentally, I’m still waiting for the physical version. But we can indeed go back to the past and alter what happens in our future timelines.
Welcome to the end of week one. Day Seven! Up until now we’ve been laying some pretty heavy foundation work. And today we’re going to put a polish on everything we’re done thus far. But first, I want to run another video by you. One I created in late 2020 called ‘On FEELING MORE CONFIDENT By Using Positive Affirmations’.
Now next week, we’re going to start getting into some real life situations. Relationships, sex, life changes, all of that. But the final bit of groundwork we need to cover is something we touched on earlier. Confidence.
The word Confidence sounds so easy to define, doesn’t it? Well, it’s not so cut and dried. In this chapter we take a deep look at what it really is, and how we can use it for ourselves, even if we don’t have it yet.
What does the phrase ‘Self-Love’ mean to you? What’s your first reaction? Is it being selfish? Being weak? Being strong? It’s not a phrase used very often in everyday life. Sure, maybe in your tantric hot yoga class, but when was the last time you said ‘Self-Love’ over dinner? Or at work?
To hark back to Day Four, we discussed the seven levels of consciousness. Level Five and up had the concept that you are just as important as everyone else. Now picture this, you have a list of individuals that need you. Your spouse, your kids, Grandma, and even the dog. At any given moment, one of them is at the top of the list and you are devoting time and energy to them. Or to an object or an errand, like grocery shopping or finally fixing the broken towel bar in the bathroom.
Self-love and happiness. Who wouldn’t choose those over the dark side of emotions? Well, most of us. We’re kinda busy taking care of others so much that we forget to take care of ourselves.
In this chapter, we dive into choices and how we need to reevaluate how we make them.
Welcome to Day Nine, and yes, today we’re talking sex. Why are we discussing this even before we dive into relationship advice? Because sex is important, and not just to your partnership or marriage. It’s important to you personally.
But before we get into you, let’s talk about you in the context of someone else.
It has been said that sex does not make a relationship. But neither does having pleasant in-laws. You see, it’s the absence of a thing that can be quite detrimental. Or to be very specific, the absence of shared sexual beliefs, feelings, and desires. The absence of communication. That’s the potential time-bomb.
You knew it was coming, didn’t you? Sex. It’s actually far more than just a physical romp on a Tuesday afternoon. The health benefits, both emotional and physical, are important. And there’s a fair chance you’re doing sex wrong.
Welcome to Day 10 and today we’re talking about relationships. And even though it may seem that we’re talking about romantic relationships (and in a way we are), relationships are relationships, regardless of family, friends, or lovers.
Why is this here? Let’s start with that. How does understanding and building relationships help you master life? Because unless you’re living off-grid in a cabin by yourself, you are going to have people in your life somehow. And it’s those people who will partly shape your future. And you theirs.
Relationships are tricky, be they intimate, romantic, or just friends in passing. They require trust. They require … well, a great many things. In today’s chapter we explore just what makes (and breaks!) a relationship. And we also look forward to how we can improve all of ours.
And here we are, Day 11. And we’re going to take a look at a word, a single word, and the difference between its noun and adjective forms. Because one of them is you, and the other is someone you really don’t want to be.
So, you want to master this thing called life. You want to interact with others … perhaps a partner … and just be joyful. And to bring joy to others. So at first glance, the words pleaser and pleasing sound the same. Well, they’re not. Nowhere close.
One is based completely on conflict avoidance. About compromise and rationalization, second guessing, and playing things safe. One of these words is all about fear.
The other is about bringing happiness to others, and therefore to ourselves.
Two words that sound the same, but couldn’t be more different. And that have a tremendous impact on your relationships, and yourself. Happiness comes from one of them, resentment and misery from the other. In today’s chapter we explore what the differences are, and how to move towards the happier of the two.
Day 12! Just over halfway to the end of this new beginning. And if I had to guess, I’d bet you’re probably wondering why travel is in this course. Well, because travel isn’t always travel.
What I use that word, I really mean learning. Acquiring experiences. If you wanted a stronger body, you’d go to the gym and exercise. Stress your muscles so they could grow larger and more powerful. Well, it works the same way with your brain. And “travel” is a great way to exercise it.
This is NOT a travel chapter. Really! Well, it kinda is. It uses travel as an example about how we learn and educate ourselves.
There is a thing called a Keystone Habit which can change everything about your life.
We’ve already spoken about routines in the context of relationships, but we also need to speak of them in the context of you personally.
What is a Keystone Habit?
“They are small changes or habits that people introduce into their routines that unintentionally carry over into other aspects of their lives. Keystone Habits create a domino effect that change every area of your life.”
This is a strange chapter, because I loathe routines. But I discovered that in some ways they are essential to our lives. It’s all a matter of intent. They are also key in maintaining healthy relationships.
Welcome to Day 14. The end of week two. And a day of failure, adversity, and loss of control.
Let’s start with the strange term that is the title of today. What is Locus Of Control? It’s a psychological concept that refers to how strongly people believe that they have control over the situations and experiences that affect their lives. Not the control itself, per se, but their belief in that control.
The Principle of “Locus of Control” was coined by Julian Rotter in 1954 and is essentially a duality. You either have External Locus, or you have Internal Locus.
This is a fun chapter, like the seven stages of consciousness, where we explore how humans work in a little deeper way. And we also flip around the notion that failure is a bad thing. It’s good to screw up, actually. It’s all in how you look at the outcome.
Welcome to Day 15, and I need to tell you something. I’m very proud of you. Even if you don’t embrace a single word I’ve said, I’m still very proud of you. For being open to possibility. For seeking opportunities.
The people in our lives: our family, friends, partners, even the hordes of random strangers on social media, they each have an impact on how we make choices. And our reliance on their input can have either wonderful, or dreadful consequences.
The circle of people around us can be summed up in three basic categories: cheerleaders, those that help, and the rest of them.
No one is an island. And no one moves forward in life without the impact of others upon them. But we do have control over those impacts, and a deep understanding of how it all works can either propel your forward, or hold you back.
Day 16, and today we’re going to chat about passion. Now a lot of self-help gurus will tell you “Follow your passion”, or “If you do what you love, it will never feel like work”. Which on the surface sounds like sage advice. But is it really?
There is an article in Psychology Today that has the headline “False Self – True Self: The Perils of Living a Lie to Fit In”. Quite an interesting concept, and seemingly having nothing to do with passion. Or maybe it does.
We have the luxury today to have expanded choices. In ages past, things like culture, law, religion, and even just the simple need to survive dictated what we did with our lives.
Two ‘P’ words that sound similar, and might even be at some level. But understanding the difference, and learning how to manage each, can speed up your journey to the new you. And it’s far more than just “following your passion”.
Day 17, and you knew this one was coming eventually. Health, diet, exercise, Krispy Kreme glazed donuts, ultra-processed food, booze, your comfy chair, and flab.
Did I miss anything? Oh yea, and cosmetic surgery too.
I am not going to tell you to eat better. Or to exercise more, dress better, or even to brush your teeth twice a day. But I must address physicality, because … well, it’s important.
A lot of people, of which I am not one, exercise for the way they want to look. To match their exterior to their interior. Which is fine. Good, even. But for most folks, exercise is a means to an end. Your body, in many ways, is like your car. Some people cherish and wax theirs, others drive the hell of it. But regardless, if it won’t start or stay running, you’re not going anywhere.
Ahem, this is not an exercise chapter. Nor one on your prostate or pelvic exam. But there are some basic reminders about how health decisions will impact everything else you want to do in life.
Welcome to Day 18. So far I’ve been giving you a lot of information on what you might do, but today I want to tell you about what you might want to not do.
People hear the word meditation and think of robed yogis chanting ‘om’ while sitting in a lotus position. Or they think of new age, crystal wearing ex-hippies.
Normal people don’t meditate, right?
Well, no, we actually do. We just don’t call it meditation all of the time. And yea, it can work. No one was more surprised than me when I tried it.
We all have voices inside our heads. Sometimes they help us, sometimes not so much. And we need to learn how to deal with those voices and their messages. And how we can achieve mental clarity.
Almost there, welcome to Day 20!
It seems that Hollywood loves to instill a certain image when it comes to making decisions. An angel on one shoulder, and a devil on the other. Each whispering in your ear what they want you to do. And honestly, up until now I’ve been an angel. (Which is probably a weird analogy for those that really know me). So let’s take today to be the voice on your other shoulder.
Your Past IS Your Future
An entire book filled with how-to advice. Well, it needs balance. So here are all the reasons why self-improvement is bunk, and why you’re just fine the way you are. Maybe.
You made it! Day 21 towards your mastery of life. Do you feel like you graduated? I hope not, because there isn’t a certificate at the end of this. Do you know what this course really was? Ice cream.
Bear with me here … you go into your favorite ice cream shoppe (assuming you’re not lactose intolerant), and there are 4,247 flavors in front of you. Do you (a) get French Vanilla because you know you like it, or (b) ask that tired counter person to break out the little wooden tasting spoons so you can try a few new ones?
This course was option B.
A wrap up of sorts, but there really is no wrap up. By this day you have a better understanding of both yourself, and the human condition. But the journey continues. On this final day we regroup and recap, and discuss …. what’s next.
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Using Life Coaching techniques that will help you in parting the clouds that are obscuring your path, the book ‘21 Days Towards Life Mastery‘ can help you discover just how your goals can be defined and met.